Day 13 was the most expensive and underwhelming day of our trip so far. Hard to imagine considering we got to see a 350 year old temple on top of a mountain, cuddle with tigers, and ride bare back on elephants. Maybe the problem was our guide pushing costly extras on us at every turn, like a trained monkey show or photos with the tigers (which turned out to be mandatory), maybe it was the gimmicky feel at every attraction. After 24 hours in Thailand we have yet to encounter a Thai person who wasn't an interface between us and a photo opp or trying to sell us something.
The day started off on a bad note with the two of us bickering, until I offered a peace offering of swapping breakfasts when Ilana foolishly ordered milky porridge expecting oatmeal. Our guide arrived and was very accommodating by helping us cancel our tour for the next day (somehow we knew this was the right decision even before the mediocrity of the day). We drove up a mountain outside Chiang mai to see a temple that is the symbol of the city. The long steps leading up to the temple were framed by statues of Naga on either side, gilded with scales in different colored pieces of metal. The spectacular approach led to an otherwise forgettable temple. Some aspects were nice but our guide, who was constantly on his phone or iPad, seemed disinterested. His English was the best of our guides so far, but he didn't engage with us other than throwing out the occasional fact and the constant pestering question "Do you want to take a photo?"
At the temple we saw three Chinese tourists taking part in the Buddhist tradition of releasing birds for good luck. Vendors capture wild birds from the forest and pack them with a half dozen other birds in a wicker basket. They then sell these at a price to Buddhist tourists visiting the temple. With iPhones ready to take pictures, the three Chinese tourists struggled to untie the knots on the wicker cages until they finally succeed and all the birds flew away... Except one who had hurt a leg or wing while inside the tiny basket with the other birds while the tourists repeatedly flipped over the basket to untie the knot. The bird hung to the inside when it opened until it fell to the ground with a thud. This was a metaphor for the rest of our day.
We finished with the temple at 10 30 and were not supposed to be at Tiger Kingdom until lunch. It soon became apparent that the guide had scheduled time for other activities we needed to pay extra for throughout the day. Had we given in to every additional activity, which seemed to be his expectation based on the day's structure it would have cost maybe $40 on a tour that already cost $115 per person. It also became clear that our "guide" was really just a driver. airconditioning and a motivator to spend more. The tour company was clearly not a necessary party for any of the activities we took part in.
We gave in to one of the activities: a snake show. We entered a fenced area with a dozen or so cages, each containing a snake or three in varying degrees of apparent health (or lack thereof). Most had patches of scales falling off and none had that shiny, smoothness that makes snakes so beautiful usually. Finally we were ushered into a small covered arena with wooden tiered benches. The show itself was fairly impressive and more than a little bit frightening: two snake charmers repeatedly narrowly escaping the attacking jabs of cobras, pythons, and boas, all set to a soundtrack of Nicki Minaj and LMFAO. There was a jumping snake rumored to launch itself up to 4 or 5 meters. This one kept trying to escape the performing pit toward the audience and just barely being caught by its tail by one of the snake men. Likely planned, but a few more inches and that snake would have been freeeeeee. They did an impressive stunt where they forced the snake to fall asleep so that it could be passed around members of the audience. The finale was an underwater wrestling match between the older snake charmer and the boa. We suspect the outcome was fixed. Pretty gimmicky overall, but still entertaining.
From there it was Tiger Kingdom. We knew the price of petting and taking pictures with the tigers was not included, but we did not realize the purchase was required to enter the park at all. We selected to take pictures with the small tigers, ages 5-9 months. Admittedly the price was pretty reasonable at about $18. There was also an option for smallest tigers, ages 3-5 months, for an extra cost. Our small tigers were still pretty big but cute nonetheless. The tigers were not drugged or declawed. They were docile because they had been bred in captivity and handled by humans at a young age. It was actually not all that exploitative. The tourists were let into the cages in small groups and instructed closely by trainers so the tigers didn't appear too harassed. The tigers looked healthy and seemed happy enough, playing with each other. We got our pictures and Ilana even got to give a tiger a belly rub. We also walked around and got to see the big tigers and baby tigers.
Then we had lunch which was included in the tour. This was our first real taste of Thai food. It was pretty bad. The Pad Thai was bland and fishy and the soup was oily. What else would you expect from what was basically a theme park restaurant?
After Tiger kingdom we had another chunk of time blocked out to spend more money but we declined to see the women with the rings on their necks and arrived at the elephant place.
The elephant home did seem traditional and not too exploitative. The elephants were friendly and seemed healthy. We got to see a baby elephant Farside, first and feed him bananas. Then we rode our elephants bare back through the jungle (Amelia was not into the bugs) until we reached the river and got to play in the water with the elephants. The handlers did have the elephants do some cute things like give elephant "kisses" with their trunks where they create suction on your cheek and spray water. Ilana was more willing to get dirty and play with the elephants although Amelia kind of got into it too.
Next we were supposed to go to an orchid farm....but it was closed! So he said he'd take us to a different one...also closed. Maybe if he hadn't allotted so much time for extras we didn't agree to pay for we would've gotten to see what we actually planned to. Instead he offered to take us to see the 600 year old temple in the center of town. It was aight. We wish he'd had more to tell us about it.
Finally free of our guide, we went to dinner at the Whole Earth Restaurant, and Ilana got her authentic panang curry. "So good" she says. We wandered back to our hotel through the night market and got some souvenirs. I think I preferred the night market in siem reap but it was still fun.
- Amelia with help from Ilana
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